When parents tell their kids to quit their jobs

It felt like someone kicked me in the face.  That’s how I would describe the impending headache.  Though I started the day kind of late—11AM to be exact—I still feel like I worked way too much today.  But that’s okay, I really love what I do.

I retreated to the conference room and logged on to Facebook for a little down time while I wait for the graphic designer to finish the pages I have yet to finalize.  On someone’s wall I found this article titled “Why I Told My Daughter to Quit Her Job.”  I read it not because I needed something to occupy my spare time but just because there was a time when both my parents told me to quit my job.  Uhuh, they did.

Like the girl in the article, I too went to a decent suburban high school, finished at the top of my class, played varsity sports (chess, nerd alert), and was student body president for as long as I could remember.  And of course, there was that social event award that I have to live with for the rest of my life, oh memories of the prom.

I attended one of the top universities in the Philippines and took Journalism because my mother suggested that since I know how to design already, I should harness my writing skills so I could combine them both when I apply for work—a two-in-one deal.  My mother was both right and wrong in this aspect but more on that later.

So I took Journalism, learned Spanish, finished college in four straight years without failing a single course, and graduated just in time for me to feel that I didn’t want to write anymore.  After spending four straight years in college writing about every freakin’ classic that college professors could throw at you, I was up to my neck with  my love-and-hate relationship with this writing thing.  I spent the last two years of college hating myself for not taking up Fine Arts.  So when I graduated, I bummed around for four months, and took a job at this small outsource advertising agency in Makati as one of their graphic designers.

I spent one year in that “factory.”  Day after day, I did nothing but “follow” the design the US clients wanted.  It was an outsource design company for the yellow pages in key US cities.  There was no room for creativity, really.  We had to follow design and color specifications to the letter and decimal points, otherwise, we have to re-do the entire thing.  Soon, the challenge wasn’t there anymore.  My then officemates often asked me why the hell I wasn’t in big broadsheets when I have a Journalism degree.  I told them, “I don’t want to work in newspapers” to which they would ask again, “So why are you designing?  Shouldn’t you be writing?”

I guess that when the itch started.  From the very start, writing was never a calling for me.  It felt more like nagging.  And it nagged me for months till I decided to find a copywriting job and enter the mighty world of advertising where I planned to be one of the greatest copywriters in the country.  After all, my friends did say that I talk with a certain flair (malandi, in other words) so why not use that skill to make money?  And I did.

I quit the “factory” after a year of routine and stifled creativity.  That was also when I decided that I don’t want a routinely job.  They rot the brain.  Like dead-end call center jobs.  Every day you do the same freakin’ thing inside your standard gray cubicle.  Some even stay for as long as 5 to 6 years.  Sure, the money is great but do you really think you have a career?  That’s why the land of milk and nicotine world of call centers never appealed to me despite the fact that I could earn three times as much since I’m bilingual.  No thank you, I don’t want a dead-end job.

This big beauty brand in Makati gave me my first break in copywriting.  I was so happy to be part of the brainstorming sessions, of product development activities, and even the simple but challenging task of finding the right bottle  for the right product.  While working behind the scenes, I realized that every detail in labels is there for a reason—every font, every color, every icon are carefully selected and embedded to create an overall effective label.  I worked with celebrities.  I assisted in photo shoots.  I interviewed models. I wrote for the in-house magazine.  I was in beauty heaven!  And it only struck me now that my stint there prepared me for the fast, wild world of Cosmopolitan Philippines.

But I wanted more and my then officemates said that I was meant for more.  So I looked for a bigger sky.  I landed a job in one of top digital advertising agencies in the Philippines where I got to work with the “big boys” of advertising, the real deal, the heavy weights of advertising houses.  I got to work with massive brands like Unilever, Procter and Gamble, Jollibee, Globe, Citibank, and BPI to name a few.  I wrote copies, designed websites, designed online and print ads, and participated in major brainstorming sessions of the biggest online campaigns in the country.  I was finally in that piece of the bigger sky I was looking for.   But then, I guess it was my luck to have flown up in the part of the sky that was being polluted by several clusters of nimbus clouds.  I never realized how high crab mentality could fly.  They say that surrounding yourself with smart people is a good way to improve.  Only there, some people wanted to keep the smarts to themselves.  Back then, I didn’t know how to handle these things.  I handled it pretty badly, often engaging in email battles and pagalingan sessions.  Not to mention, my boots-wearing, Starbucks-sipping, red nails-typing, expensive resto-eating ways are often misconstrued as bitchy and snobbish and (please put adjective here).  Well, I guess some people there want me to be like the rest who wear non-descript flats and ho-hum clothes that often make them look like they are on day offs.  I simply couldn’t be like that.

I felt unhappy, especially since I found out that some the people I trusted often talked behind my back.  And they didn’t say good things.  Perhaps the only good thing they had to say about me was that I could stop traffic.  It was during this time that I enrolled in a master’s degree program at the University of the Philippines, which was another thing that they talked about behind closed doors.  When they found out that I also went to law school, I wonder how many raised their eyebrows.  When they found out that I quit both, I wondered how many of them laughed.  But I let the whispers be, after all, they didn’t know why I quit.  I tried law school because I wanted to be John Grisham’s female counterpart here in the Philippines.  I quit because I realized they don’t tolerate profanity in affidavits.  I quit MA because I got bored.  I got really, really bored.  I’m not meant for academe.  Besides, most companies couldn’t afford me because of my writer-designer package, how much more if I have those two under my belt?  My daddy often warns me of being overqualified.  And most of the time, I am overqualified.

And so I was unhappy for a long period of time.  The idea of working with top brands wasn’t enough.  I felt so depressed that I had to drag myself to work just because I have a deadline and I have a boyfriend who I see after work.  That was it.  I wasn’t happy anymore.

I talked to my parents about it and told them I wanted to quit my job at the advertising agency.  My paycheck there was more than adequate.  In fact, it was pretty big for someone my then age (23) and was enough to buy two pairs of boots at Linea Italia every pay day with enough money for my daily Starbucks habit (depression does that to you).  But I told my parents I wasn’t happy anymore.  They told me to quit.

Of course, you have to understand that I’m a COO (Child of Owner) and the eldest of three children born into a business family.  For 28 years, we’ve been catering to the printing needs of clients both here in the Philippines and abroad.  And for the past 6 or so years, we’ve been printing coffee table books and the yearbooks of major schools in Marikina and Quezon City with both my parents at the helm of the small printing empire.  They need me.  But that’s just partly the reason why they advised me to quit my job at the agency.

You see, I’m blessed to be born into a family that knows no competition.  I couldn’t think of a single moment when my parents compared us to one another or subtly urged us to get ahead of another.  No, my family knows no competition.  When we get good grades, we were given something as a prize.  Before it was always a new book, a new pair of shoes, or a new bag.  Today, it’s Php1,000 for every 1.0 in my brother’s report card every semester in college.  Last semester, my nerd of a brother earned Php7,000 in total and both my sister and I gave him something as a prize.  My sister gave him a new polo shirt and I think I gave him money for a gimik thing.  No, my family knows no competition.  Ironically, we all grew up with titos and titas comparing us to some of our cousins—something we never really cared about.  I just don’t understand why some people feel the need to look better than us three children, or have better things than what we are given, or compete with the things we do as a family.  My sister and brother somehow see why some people need to brag.  For me, I just feel pity.  It must be truly tiring to keep competing with someone who doesn’t even care to look behind.  They never win anyway.  For us, we really couldn’t care less what other people think because we are happy just as we are.  The only people we compete with are ourselves.  We are taught that it’s the simplest way to stay ahead.

Okay, so where was I?  So I quit my job at the agency, right at the time when half of the company resigned because of an internal squabble nobody really understood.  My decision was set in stone when two of my mentors at the agency resigned.  I told myself that I would only work for the best, nothing less.  I want to work in a company that really makes a difference.  I found nothing of that in the agency anymore and so I left.

I worked at the family business for more than a year—handling projects, designing yearbooks, talking with clients, doing some marketing, and basically trying to whip my parents’ company into shape.  But of course, like most COOs would know, the toughest employers you can have are your own parents.  They just don’t seem to listen.  I also wrote for Cosmo.ph, Total Fitness, SPEED, and Sidetrip magazines.  I wrote for clients abroad and basically lived from one freelance paycheck to another but amazingly, I was still able to maintain the somewhat expensive lifestyle that I have and even flew to Hong Kong for a five-day vacation.  How I did all that without a 9-to-5 job, I don’t want to think about anymore.  But here’s what I do know:  that my strength is in publishing and this is the industry I want to grow up with.

I told my parents about it and they said to go find my real calling, may it be here or abroad.  I sent my resume to a dozen publishing companies here and abroad and waited impatiently for feedback.  I was interviewed for a senior PR writer position for a huge hospital in the Bonifacio Global City.  I declined it.  I was also interviewed for a Lifestyle Producer position for Yahoo! Philippines.  I didn’t push through with it because there was no real writing involved and I wanted an editorial position where I can get to handle a team of writers to produce something really amazing.  Of course, even my boyfriend freaked out when I told him that I didn’t follow up with the Yahoo! Philippines job.  Even today, he doesn’t understand why I did it.  And before we forget, a few years ago, I turned down a job a million girls would kill for.

When I was interviewed by the CEO of an international publishing company, I never knew I’d be where I am now.  Well, maybe it’s because when he first interviewed me, it was for an editorial position for a website.  And yet, maybe he saw something in me that made him believe I was meant for more and so the company offered me the best job I could ever think of today.

Almost three months into my new job and I already feel like I worked here all my life. That’s a good thing because I feel right at home and right on track.  And I realized that when you strongly believe in yourself and in something so much, everything just falls into place, lots of doors open up for you, and you get to see your country and the world differently.

I guess the reason why I wrote this long rant is that I want to prove that parents know best.  When they tell you to quit something because it’s making you unhappy, quit it.  And yes, a part of growing up is saying no to things that don’t do you anything good.

Now, back to work I go.

I'm a happy red head. :)